Sleep Paralysis

Have you ever experienced a dream so vivid, you wake up wondering if it actually took place? How about a dream so real, and so terrifying, that you wake up panting, and soaked in cold sweat?  Well let me ask you this, have you ever had a dream where you were completely self-aware, and aware of your surroundings, and yourself, and your thoughts, but could not move, could not open your eyes, but still you saw?

A little background. Around the time I started seriously getting into Wicca and throwing off the chains of my former beliefs, I was also changing my sleeping habits.  I was old enough now that my parents no longer gave me a bedtime, so like most young adults I spent late nights enjoying my freedom, up until 2 or 3 in the morning, and sleeping until 3 in the afternoon when able. And subsequently complaining about how tired I was when I had to get up for school in the morning.  I also got into the habit of taking naps in the day as well. Not a very healthy sleep cycle, let me tell you.

One night I was sleeping when suddenly there was a great rush of wind past my ears. I felt such a weight on my chest I thought I was going to suffocate. I felt like I was being strangled with my blankets. I couldn't move my arms or legs, or my head, and though I tried vainly to scream for my parents across the hall not a sound came from my throat. I was aware, though my eyes were closed, of my room around me. I could see the blue blanket with its white stars. I could see everything around me, my night stand, the tv, my dresser, the posters on my wall. It was as if, thought my eyes were closed, I could see.

I finally managed to burst through the dream and came awake, sitting up like a bolt. I found myself panting as if out of breath, and my shirt and sheets were drenched in sweat. I was terrified. I felt drowsy as well, my eyelids were heavy and my brain felt fuzzy. I had to fight to stay away, because I knew if I fell back asleep, the dream would take me.  So I got up and went downstairs, unable to sleep the rest of the night.

A couple weeks later I had the same dream, but this time, along with the rush of air by my ears, I heard a demonic voice in a language I could not understand. When I woke from this terror I had trouble convincing myself it wasn't Lucifer himself trying to win me to the darkside.  Perhaps my choice of religion wasn't a good idea after all?  But no, I could feel in my soul that Wicca was for me... so why was this happening to me?  

The next dream I not only heard the demonic voice, but a second voice. This one was quieter, so I strained to listen rather then block it out as I had with the demonic voice. It sounded like a young man, and he was saying something about me "coming of age."

That was it... I had to find out what these dreams were all about. Was I being visited by angels and demons in my sleep?  So I did some research. But, instead of doing medical research, I did spiritual research and I learned of a thing called a Psychic Vampire Attack. According to the text, what this writer said was an attack by a psychic vampire leaching my life energy, had the exact same symptoms I was feeling.  Wonderful. 

Then something strange happened.  The next dream I had, I dreamed a dark, cloaked figure was standing in my room leaning over me, and that the rush past my ears was him leaching energy from me.  Well wait a second - where did the demon and angel go? The next day I decided more research was in order.

I read about The Hag. An old witch that sits on your chest at night.  I read bout alien abductions. And finally, I found the truth.  In a medical journal I read about Sleep Paralysis.  

There are levels to your sleep.  Specifically the ones I read about where the "twilight" times just before and just after REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is the deepest, most restful sleep.  According to this medical journal, your brain and your body fall asleep separately. Though most often they happen at the same time.  Sleep Paralysis was when your body feel asleep, but your mind remained awake (or your mind woke up before your body).  So in essence, you are awake, but your body is paralyzed.  During REM sleep, you don't move, you don't toss and turn, because your body paralyzes itself to rest and to keep you from moving about during dreams.  So what happens is your body is still asleep, but your mind is awake.  And so the thoughts in your mind become vivid hallucinations, but you cannot move.

Then, something very strange happened.  Once I had learned what was happening to me (I even went and discussed it with a doctor, who told me all about how my sleeping schedule was probably causing it) I found that I could control these dreams... I even had one where it was a dog standing on my chest, licking my face.  I cannot stop the dreams from coming, but in my mind I can change what is happening.  I still feel a weight on my chest, and still feel the rushing of air past my ears, and I still feel paralyzed and unable to move. But it is no longer terrifying.  The only really negative aspect now is the way I feel when I wake up. Dizzy, and my mind fuzzy as if stuffed with cotton, and it is hard pulling myself out of it, when my mind so strongly wants me to fall back to sleep.  But now that I know what it is, I no longer fear it.  It is an annoyance, but no more.

I now have much better sleep habits, and have been months without an "episode" of sleep paralysis. 

So what is the moral of the story?

Just because we are spiritual people, does not mean we should turn our back on medical science and knowledge.  If I had not researched the medical reasons behind my episodes, I might still be suffering from terrifying dreams today.  

I strongly believe that Science is not evil, and that though Science may prove evolution, and even figure out where the world came from, how it got here, I do not think it will ever DISPROVE the existence of the supernatural, or of a higher power of any kind.  Even if Science completely maps out without a shadow of a doubt with definitive proof how humans evolve and where the world and universe came from - who is to say that the laws and findings of Science is not in itself a tool of the higher power?  Perhaps Math, and Science, and Physics are themselves a kind of magick created by the Creator at the time of creation like a bluebrint to his/her/its design? 

So, my thoughts are, it isn't Science vs Religion, they can exist in harmony.